


After Infinity

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 22:56:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I know we won; I won.  It doesn’t make me sad or angry.  It makes me strong.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	After Infinity

**Author's Note:**

> In my fanon universe Erin Strauss is not an alcoholic. In the first story I wrote where she lives I had to include the alcoholism because it was such an important part of the episode and capturing the Unsub. Now I'm going to continue to ignore it in my fanon like I always have.

“I'm keeping it.”

“You're keeping what?” 

Dave looked up from his laptop, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. Erin was sitting beside him on the bed dressed in boy-cut panties and an oversized Superman tee shirt. She sat cross-legged with Mudgie right beside her, and she was petting the dog’s head. There was some nature show on the flat screen TV, something about otters maybe, but the volume was low. Outside a thunderstorm was brewing, the rain falling steady as it had been all day.

“I'm going to keep the infinity symbol on my wrist.”

She glanced back at him for just a second. Erin wanted to see his face. She had been thinking about it since she woke up in the hospital. When she sent the false emails it never occurred to her that she would be the next victim. Erin thought now that if she wasn’t then maybe the case would go unsolved. It probably wouldn’t have, Aaron Hotchner and his team were brilliant, but she had to think something good to keep from thinking something bad.

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

“I'm sure.” She nodded.

“Can you tell me what you're thinking?”

Dave saved his work and put his laptop on sleep. This might turn out to be a long conversation. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Erin; he wanted to more than anything. But so far she hadn’t really opened up about what happened. 

A man came into her hotel room, violated her safe space, and tried to kill her. He'd nearly succeeded. Surviving wasn’t always easy. He was no shrink but had been through what Erin was going through. It was nearly impossible not to think something you did, which seemed insignificant at the time, set a plan in motion where people died.

“It’s a battle wound. I won, and I deserve to look at it everyday and remember that. I don't expect you to understand but…”

“I do understand.” He nodded. “I have some feelings about it but it’s not fair to put what I feel on you. This isn’t about me and I know that.”

“No, but some of it is about us. What do you feel?” Erin looked back at him again but it was only for a moment. She was sure about this but didn’t want to look at Dave’s face. She also didn’t want to think about what not looking at Dave’s face meant.

“That symbol is something special between you and I.” He replied. “I don’t want to give it to that bastard.”

“It’s not his, it’s ours…don’t you see David. I had no idea who the Unsub was when I started making and distributing the fake emails. I just worked the case, put two and two together, and knew we had to be dealing with an insider. I didn’t think I would ever be a victim though I knew from the beginning that I was being watched like every other member of the team. I did what I did to draw him out, cause him to make a mistake, and he fell right into the trap. 

“I picked the symbol because of what it means to me, to us.” She put her hand over her heart. “When I look at it, even though I know that Curtis carved it into my skin…I smile. I know it’s what got him. I know we won; I won. It doesn’t make me sad or angry. It makes me strong.”

“You busted this case wide open, baby. It was all you.”

“I'm not going to take all the credit though I might do a victory lap in the near future. I’ll be doing that for me. The way I look at it, it’s just as easy for those who want to get rid of me to say this case is entirely my fault. Haven’t we learned from experience that the Bureau doesn’t mind placing full blame on those who don’t deserve it?”

Dave nodded. He put his laptop on the nightstand, reaching out to gently squeeze her shoulder. Touching Erin had been different lately. She seemed more hyper-vigilant, even when they made love. While he surely understood why, Dave had to make sure that he was the never the one who scared her or made her uncomfortable. When she put her hand over his, he knew he was doing it right.

“So do you think it’s a good idea or a bad idea?” she asked.

“I think it’s your decision.”

“Could you stand to look at it everyday for the rest of your life?”

“I want to look at you everyday for the rest of my life, Erin.” Dave replied. “That’s all that matters to me.”

She took his hand off her shoulder and held it in her lap. Mudgie sniffed their combined hands before licking them. Erin smiled. There were many decisions she needed and wanted to make. 

They didn’t all need to be decided in that instant. She was keeping the scar. It was one of the things Erin barely had to think about. She’d probably done it so much just to keep other things off her mind.

“There's a box of popcorn downstairs.” She said.

“Yes there is.” Dave nodded.

“And you bought the fatty kind and not the air-popped kind that I usually eat.”

“I thought a little movie theatre butter would be good for both of us. There's that cheese seasoning in the cabinet too.”

“So we should make a lot of it, cuddle up, and put in Season 5 of _Law and Order_.” Erin said.

“I have a soft spot for Season 5 of _Law and Order_.” He said smiling.

“I have a soft spot for Jack and Claire.”

Erin let go of his hand and then got up from the bed. Mudgie looked at her and then looked at Dave. He didn’t know where Erin was going but if she was leaving then he was going with her. The retriever was a perceptive dog; knew this past week that she needed someone close without being overwhelming. Mudgie thought he might be better at that than his master.

“So we’ll have popcorn, wine, and another nice evening in.”

“There's a Riesling chilling in the fridge.” Dave said.

“That sounds perfect to me.” She smiled.

“Take your boyfriend with you.”

That made Erin laugh as she turned to walk out of the room. Mudgie jumped down from the bed and followed her. Dave stared at the empty doorway for a while after she was gone. He was still unsure of how she was really feeling. He never wanted to push; knew she wouldn’t close the door on him as long as he didn’t barge in. He didn’t know if keeping the scar was a good idea but only time would tell. Deciding to think positive, Dave was grateful that Erin would have more time to make any decisions she wanted.

***


End file.
